Chuck’s Dog House
2256 Sheridan Road
Zion, IL 60099
847-872-7766

It’s exciting to me, being probably the number 1 Chicago-style hot dog fan in Lake County. To me, the only way to eat a hot dog is Chicago-style: preferably Vienna-brand all beef dog, sesame seed bun, bright green relish, mustard, a pickle spear, and a dash of celery salt. No ketchup, ever. I’m not a hick. Ketchup is for kids. And sometimes, rarely, eggs.

So when I realized that Chuck’s Dog House is literally 10 minutes away from my house in Zion, I was excited. Most of the hot dog stands in Lake County sell this horrible rendition of hot dog meat called Red Hot Chicago. Terrible. No crunch, no moist bite, and a complete lack of flavor. But there is Chuck’s, with their Vienna Beef sign, and inside a Vienna Beef poster, proclaiming the perfect recipe I listed above.

My first visit to Chuck’s went well: they had a pizza dog on special and it was fairly interesting. A hot dog, cheese, pepperoni and pizza sauce. I liked it, but who can not like a Vienna Beef dog? Service was decent, their hand-mixed milkshake was very good and their cheese fries were fresh with a fresh sauce as well. Nothing to disparage, the service was reasonable, too.

My second visit will be my last. This time I wanted to see how well Chuck and family (if there really is a Chuck) could handle the hot dog that has seemed to elude Lake County: the Chicago-style Hot Dog. Most places sell that terrible Red Hot Chicago beef, but make the rest of it correctly. Chucky boy has the Vienna Beef brand, so I assumed they’d do it correctly.

Boy was I wrong. I ordered a foot long and went home. 5 minutes into devouring what should be a perfect hot dog, I realized a terrible, lingering taste in my mouth. What is that foul flavor? Why isn’t this dog perfect? It LOOKS perfect. The crispness of the hot dog itself meant that Chuck at least knew the proper way to make a hot dog.

So I opened it up. Ketchup. Lots of it. A ruinous experience. But maybe the young teenage girl making the hot dog didn’t know better: she’s a kid, and kids love ketchup. Where else do their sticky fingers come from?

So I called Chuck’s, and some young gal answered the phone. I voiced my concern, “There’s ketchup on my Chicago style hot dog.” She explained that’s how it should be. “But it’s Chicago-style” I explained. “It’s listed on our menu.” All I saw entering the establishment was a big poster from Vienna Beef listing the perfect combination of ingredients: nowhere on that HUGE FULL COLOR advertisement is ketchup. There shouldn’t be. Chicagoans wouldn’t even think twice about putting ketchup on a hot dog.

So Zion returns to its Lake County roots by putting ketchup on a Chicago-style hot dog. Chuck’s has lost my business, forever, until they fix this problem by permanently removing ketchup from their Chicago-style hot dog. They won’t. They’re not Chicagoans. They have no care for the 100+ year history of the Chicago-style hot dog. Even a New Yorker (they put ketchup on there) would understand.

All I received from the other end of the phone line was silence, as if they just couldn’t understand that you never, ever, ever, let ketchup touch a Chicago-style hot dog.

Vienna Beef is going to get a call from me today. Chuck: go out and buy Red Hot Chicago beef, at least you can fulfill your dream to slaughter the most perfect snack on the planet with bad beef in addition to a thick layer of red sugar tomato paste drivel.